Family Life and Friendship Network

Let’s rewind life a little. Let the days turn into weeks, months, then years. In 1985-86, I was in seventh grade. Chrystal was in fourth. I didn’t meet her yet. She and my sister became friends then. Fast forward to a few years. Six years. I was graduating high school, and Chrystal was in 9th grade. I wanted the translation of El Shaddai for my mission farewell, and I knew 9th grade seminary teacher Brother Brown could translate it. I showed up after school to Brother Browns tiny little office. I remember there were a couple of girls there visiting him when I asked for the translation. I didn’t know I would marry one of them in about 20 years. I didn’t even know one of them was named Chrystal. But Chrystal knew me and recognized her sister’s friend. Here's what Chrystal remembers:

If there were a couple of girls in the room, I don't remember who the other girl was. Brother Brown had asked me to draw a picture of "The Second Coming" for his classroom. I was waiting for him to provide me with the supplies to do this project (which was my first commissioned drawing actually). I don't remember who was there first, me or you, but I do remember you asking him for the translation of El Shaddai for part of your mission farewell.

Now fast forward just over two more years. I barely remember doing this. Having just returned from my mission, I returned to Cyprus and played my guitar for a group of kids I didn’t even know, because even the sophomores I’d known my senior year had graduated just before I got home. I don’t remember what I played or what the high school event was. I just remember doing it. Chrystal remembers it too, she was there. In fact, I’d have forgotten about it completely, except for the fact that she reminded me of it. That was the first time she saw me play. Here's what she says about it:

It was almost an afterthought by Mr Moore to have you play...almost like you'd shown up out of the blue. He announced you were going to play after the intermission had already started and people were getting up and milling about. It was pretty noisy in the auditorium. He announced that you were going to play your guitar. I was near the back of the auditorium, on the right hand side when facing the stage. You sat on the opposite side of the stage. I don't know if anyone else even realized you were up there. But I stopped, and turned around. I couldn't see you. But I stopped and listened.

Now fast forward 17 years. In case you’ve lost track of time here, that’s about a year ago. In that time we both got similar degrees (hers was psychology, mine was family science, with a few psych classes thrown in there). I married, had four children, and lost my wife to cancer. My sister suggested I should ask her friend Chrystal out. I did. She said "no way!" and ran screaming. Okay, she actually didn’t run too far, she did say she wanted to write. We connected as facebook friends and wrote to each other fairly often.

The woman Chrystal that I got to know over a few months I became more and more impressed with. We had a lot in common. She loves the Lord, and has her priorities right. We finally met mid December at a mid singles event, though you could count a couple ward activities where she conveniently arranged to be there. It was good we finally started dating then, or I might have had to resort to begging... but I digress... Our first somewhat official date, we got our guitars together and played some songs in the foyer at the church where we met for mid-singles activities. We both connected that day on multiple levels. We knew we would marry even then, though we didn’t say so to each other for a few days.

Now I tried to wait for Christmas for our first kiss, but it was a whole three or four days away. Nope, I didn’t succeed. Our first kiss was before Christmas day. I don’t think I ever kissed before on a second date. But what could I do? I was entranced and trapped by the heart and soul of Chrystal Martin. I was hers before I ever knew I was hers. Not long after Christmas, only a couple weeks ago, we were doing sealings for the dead together in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple and in walked our Cyprus seminary president, Larry Turner. Neither of us knew he was a temple sealer until then. We asked him that day to seal us on February 12th, 2011, our wedding day.

I’d fast forward again, but we’re at today, and we have to proceed at the normal rate. If I could fast forward, I’d jump to our marriage day, but that post will have to wait a few short weeks. I’ll conclude with Chrystal’s note on facebook – what she wrote about our story:

I have felt the need to share "my" story, which is now becoming "our" story....I will try to keep it concise, though I could include much detail.

At age 14 I began to pray for strength and guidance in behalf of a potential husband. I never thought that I would have to wait 21 years for those many prayers to be answered. Perhaps I should've been a little less specific in what I asked for, and it might've taken God less time to bring it to pass. I prayed that the man I am to marry would be strong in spirit, a good father, honor his priesthood, honor womanhood, be a good provider.

In 24 days my Forever will begin with a man who fits that description. There is an incredible amount of joy and peace for this coming event. Though there is also a measure of sadness as well. In becoming a "good father", this good man lost a beautiful wife to cancer, and was left with 4 young children to raise.

Though I have memories of him from when I was in high school (he is the older brother of one of my good friends, and a friend to my older brother), our paths never really crossed until quite recently.

When the spirit speaks, it is quiet, yet it is strong, filled with power, filled with peace.

This feeling has been present from the moment I heard Brandon play his guitar again. (My memory from high school is of him playing his guitar.) I knew at that moment, that I did not want to live my life without him. If ever there were a pair of kindred spirits, though before now I might never have believed such a thing exists, I would say that we are.

We share a deep love of the gospel. We share a talent for guitar and a desire to share that talent. We share a joy in parenting. My heart is full, my life is about to change in ways I can't even begin to understand.

In accepting Brandon as an eternal companion, I am accepting his 4 children. I am accepting his wife, Julie. There is no anxiety in this. There is no fear. There is the most profound and complete feeling of peace, faith, and joy. I will not pretend that I feel prepared for this great responsibility, but I do trust my Lord. I do trust His hand in my life. My most heartfelt prayer is that I am able to rise to the task of helping Brandon raise his children the way Julie wanted them raised. With love, with patience, with kindness, with compassion, with direction, praise, support, all the principles of the Savior Jesus Christ's gospel. All the "unseen things" that faith is made of.

I did not know Julie, I have never met her. Yet I love her. I love her for her children. I love her for the man she helped Brandon to become. I love her for sharing him with me, for sharing them all with me, for trusting me with them. She truly did not have enough time on this earth with them. Though she is not gone, she is not here. She will not be forgotten. Her children are her legacy.

If I do nothing else in this life, I pray, that what I do will be sufficient to guide those children back to her, to help Brandon to get back to her. For right now, at this very moment in time, he is not mine, he is her's....

Though in 24 days. . . . .

I’d add that now it’s 23 days away, but I’m not counting...

Good things have come. I look forward to more good things to come. Hard times will come, because that’s life. But I’ll face the hard times with Chrystal at my side, and I’ll be at hers.

Brandon