Family Life and Friendship Network

Julie has lost most of what and who she is. One of the only things left to her is her smile, but I have to ask for it to get it. Even then, she doesn't always respond. Another thing remains of her old self - her eyes still have the intensity they had. Julie speaks even less than the last update, and sometimes she doesn't even respond to yes or no questions. When she does speak, it's often nonsense words. She usually remembers my name, and given time, she usually remembers the names of her children. I'm happy that our names were some of the last words to leave her vocabulary. When she needs my help, sometimes she cries out 'baby', which gets my attention quickly. She's beginning to have a hard time swallowing, so I'm finding more difficult to give her medications to her. She sleeps most of the day now. At least that gives her respite from her pains.

Yet, I think she still understands much of what is going on around her. I was surprised on the fourth when I told her that it was the fourth, and I said "what does that mean tomorrow is?". After several seconds of silence in which I could tell she was thinking and trying to find a way to communicate, she started saying "duh, duh, duh" and she was making a tune that somewhat resembled the Happy Birthday song. When I realized this was what she was doing, I said "Are you singing the birthday song to me?". She smiled, nodded, and said "yes". I was deeply moved that my wife, with so much of her mind gone, still remembered my birthday, and even tried to sing the song one more time. Music often does bring words back to her. We'll sing a hymn in church and she'll start to sing a few words here and there. That she still wishes to go to church is another testament of her faith and strong will.

I hope and pray that her suffering will end soon, but I will keep pressing forward in her service until then. It's very difficult, but at least I know I've been there for her until the end.