Family Life and Friendship Network

Friends and family,

I’m excited to announce that I’m finally headed toward the degree I’ve aspired for all my life in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT), and I’m a year ahead of schedule! My plans were to work a lot and earn a lot to prepare for the next year. While working, I planned to do these things:

1. Prepare to take the GRE exam before October.
2. Collaborate research with graduate students at BYU so that the faculty members there who haven’t seen me for eleven years might get to know me again and write a good letter of recommendation before December.
3. Meet with faculty and grad students at USU so that they would become familiar with me and I could hopefully improve my chances for admission.
4. Apply for the USU MFT program by January 1st.
5. Wait until March to see if I was admitted.
6. If admitted, wait until September to start. If not, take another year and repeat the above process, improving GRE scores, getting better letters of recommendation, etc.

Argosy University has an MFT program, and that they don’t require the GRE because they are not research oriented like USU and BYU are. I found these things out the weekend before the new semester started, went in the first day and set a new record for fastest applicant by getting the entire process done in one day. Now finally, after losing my greatest dream to serve my wife all my life, I’m on my way to accomplishing my next-greatest dream. Very soon, I'll be helping other people and families like I've always wanted to do!

With Argosy, I can work while getting my degree. It takes the same amount of time as other degree programs, so it's not easier, but I think I've found a way to make it work with an employment opportunity I'll write about later. It's something that will build on my future, and yet takes advantage of my past, and couldn't be a better fit!

Some of you ask how dating is going. I’m mostly withdrawing from the game, but I'll still meet people, and who knows what will happen. I don't have much time, and I have little to offer, but soon I'll have much to offer. Meeting people just wont be a priority. Providing for my family, time with my children, and fulfilling my ambitions are my priority. When I can provide better, maybe dating will take a greater priority. It'll be lonely and hard, but it'll be worth it. My married friends: love your spouses, and make the best of your relationship while you still can. A good marriage is worth more than all the riches in the world, including the cost of therapy.

Let me say a bit on prayer. I pray several times a day, always on my knees (except when driving or biking). I almost forgot to have the family kneel once, and Benjamin remembered! I’m happy my children are catching the spirit of praying right. For a while, I've said every nighttime family prayer. I always ask God to bless Julie and help her on the other side, to bring her our love, to allow her near us frequently, and to help us feel her near. I have the children alternate for the morning prayers. My goal is to teach by example real, thoughtful, reverent prayer until they catch on and do it themselves. I hoped they would catch on with just my example. It seems to be working. I’ve noticed more reverence and thoughtfulness from them lately.

I’ll close with my current life plans. After one year, I'll start supervised practice. In another year, I'll have my MS in MFT. A couple years later I can practice on my own. While working those two years, I’ll probably go for the doctorate degree so I can do more (like teach at a University) and charge more. After all that, if I've found and married someone, I'll work on fulfilling her dreams. If not, I might go back to a dream Julie had and make it come true. She wanted to live in another country. Perhaps that's just what we'll do.

James will be in school by then, and my kids older and more capable. Maybe I’ll move to Brazil, where she served her mission, and immerse my family in the culture there, where I'll gain some valuable culturally diverse practice experience. Maybe I'll try Europe, or Iceland, another place Julie wanted to live. The possibilities are endless. Somewhere along the line, I'll get a new house I'll call my own. Wherever I am, if I'm married, the house will be all hers to decorate, (and all mine to do the work!). If not I’ll decorate it the way Julie did in our first apartment: lots of greenery, dark furniture, flowers (especially sunflowers, tulips, and daffodils), family pictures, temples, and pictures of the Savior, some with children. After that, who knows. Life's adventure will continue.